Rules for long distance online dating

While the starting point for my advice is The Rules book series by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, I also layer in my own strategies—the tips I share with private clients and that I followed, personally, to date for marriage.

Any single woman can meet great guys online, but you do have to be disciplined, screen carefully, and always choose quality over quantity. Rule 1: Lower your expectations (but not your standards).

You may not realize that when you are flirting online! When you meet somebody for the very first time, it doesn't matter how much you've talked to them online or via Skype.

Feeling somebody's energy in person, that's how you make a decision if you're ready to sleep with them or not. All you need to do when it comes down to something like this is to remain present.

We admit it’s a huge inconvenience and does generate an emotional emptiness, but it really doesn’t mean that the love between two people can’t flourish just because thousands of miles separate them. If you’ve got a healthy and positive attitude about long distance relationships, then half the battle is won. This much we do know: if a loved one is far away – either because the two of you met in one place but live at the opposite ends of the continent or one of you is assigned to another country – then there’s a need to sit down and talk about the impending separation. Two – and this is especially for the ladies – if he does not ask you to come with him or does not send for you later – then you should accept the fact that he’s not too much into you as you are into him.

Once those worries are out of the way, you can actually relax and have fun.

These rules apply to any form of blind date, including those arranged by matchmakers or friends and family. When you have bad DZs, you want to give up on dating entirely; your self-esteem takes a hit and you start to feel that you will never meet the right guy.

Hopefully all pictures were current, because if you don't look exactly like your pictures, then neither one of you is going to sleep with anybody except yourselves. A lot of you have these online long-distance relationships that go on and on and on, but the only way these relationships will ever turn into something is if you represent yourselves exactly as you really look! Every picture you send is a picture you took today. You don't want to find out that he's 40 pounds heavier and bald, even though he had a full head of hair and looks like a young Marlon Brando in the picture, and you don't want to be sending him pictures of yourself when you were skinny when now you're 200 pounds overweight. The thing is, when you first meet someone you've been chatting with online, the first thing he's going to do as a male is look at you up and down and say to himself, "Thank God man, she looks like her pictures." If you don't look like your picture, then we're going to retreat. The best way to get to a man is to appeal to his visual sense.

Because when you meet them, you might just get a friend vibe.