My boyfriend and I have been going out for about three months now.
We’ve already had sex and I think we took it way too fast.
He says he wants to be with me forever and that he loves me- I mean, could see us being like that but does he really mean it or is he just saying what he thinks I want to hear?
He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but sometimes he won’t call or text the whole day.
But the reason I say it is that it’s something I would have said years ago in an early relationship. The thing is, as I had more relationships –more falling in love and then eventually the break-up, more ups, more downs, more experience — my perspective changed and the way I was in relationships changed too… Sure, people get jaded by breakups, sometimes for a month, sometimes for several months (or longer), but the ups and the downs of relationships are both really good things.
Erich Fromm, in his famous treatise "The Art of Loving," noted the sad consequence of this misconception: "There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet, which fails so regularly, as love." (That was back in 1956 ― chances are he'd be even more pessimistic today.) So what is love ― real, lasting love? What we value most in ourselves, we value most in others.
They believe this is something everybody knows, that they're just following the rules.
What I've noticed, though, is that every person I've heard espouse this worldview was straight.
Queer communities are often small and insular, and once you've found one, you tend to hold on to it for dear life.
It's difficult to meet people you're romantically interested in beyond an already-defined circle, and outside of your city's queer scene, most people you run into are likely to be straight.